Friday, March 26, 2010

Animal Print

The following is a true story. It actually happened a while back (Fall of '09, if memory serves).

At my job, we have many student workers that often breeze through our department, working various hours, etc. One young girl in particular, I won't name names, was a little on the "blonde" side. (I mean no disrespect to blondes - it's just to reference the association one assumes might be a characteristic of a blonde - deet dee dee.) Of course, being so long ago, I don't remember the one-sided conversation verbatim, but the jest of it still leaves me speechless. Sometimes I think it would be a huge benefit to be eidetic.

I've constructed a fictional conversation (below) based on the actual facts of the events. We shall call the girl "Jane" (real original, I know).

(Jane, on the phone)
Jane: "I saw the cutest dress for Joe's party on Saturday and I almost bought it."
Caller replies
Jane: "I wasn't sure. It was, like, animal print. Giraffe."
Caller replies
Jane: "I have a cute black one that I want to wear, but I need new shoes to go with it. Plus, it's like, supposed to be cold."
Caller replies
Jane: "The black one makes me look thinner and stuff. Do you think the giraffe one will make me look taller?"

Yeeaahh...I'm not often without words, but this one about took the cake. The only reason I remembered it was because I saw a student wearing some giraffe-print leggings today. Specifically, giraffe-print leggings, under red shorts and a brown Texas A&M t-shirt. With a huge green, glittery bow on the side of her head. Seriously? Did you bother to check yourself in the mirror before you left the house? Do you not have friends that will be brutally honest with you? Did we time-travel back to the 80s?

I can't make this stuff up, people.