November Blog Series: Day 14

Good evening, friends. It’s day fourteen. Sixteen days to go. (And only 11 until Thanksgiving!)

As I’m typing this, my cousin, Blake, and I are flipping back and forth between the channels, trying to watch the Cowboys vs. Giants and the Seahawks vs. Cardinals simultaneously. There is a healthy little competition going. We have wagered a whole dollar (cheap!). He’s betting against the Cowboys and I’m betting against the Seahawks. Right now, the Cowboys are actually ahead (33-20) AND Kitna is playing (against Manning). This could turn out to be a monumental evening.

And speaking of football, the Aggies tore it up last night against Baylor! Yeah, baby! The Wrecking Crew rocked! I called it low, so it figures that it would be a high scoring game. I’m not that great with keeping up with statistics and estimating the outcome, but I do a fantastic job at screaming loudly at the television and jumping up and down with enthusiasm (it helps – I swear it does). Baylor’s offense is not to be underestimated. They kept us on our toes. Especially when Griffin gets his legs going. He’s like a freakin’ gazelle! Of course, Tannehill and Gray led the team in some of the best defensive plays I’ve seen yet out of the Aggies. The final score was 42-30, and though I’m certain the Aggies could’ve gotten one last touchdown with a minute left in the fourth, the game was called. Mike Sherman has more class than to further rub salt in the wound.

Today is my niece’s birthday. There are a slew of people standing outside around the campfire, and I can smell wafts of roasting hotdogs each time someone opens the back door. Between that and the aroma of the homemade chili cooking in the crockpot, my mouth is sufficiently watering. The kids have just about worn themselves out on the inflated bouncer and the shrieks and shrills of their laughter are such a joyous noise. Can’t wait for cake and presents. How very blessed are we to celebrate another year with my niece (and extended family).

Yesterday evening, we didn’t get to have our “big kids” night out as planned. All of us were too engrossed in the football game. So, we’re shooting for it tonight. The kids (little ones) will get all sugared up and left with the grandfolks, and the big’uns will head out soon for some bowling, laser tag, pool and arcade games. Thank goodness I’m off tomorrow. I’m gonna take full advantage of sleeping in…with the cold, overcast weather outside...snuggled under the covers…ahhhhh…ya just gotta love the simple things in life.

Have a busy week ahead of me. Lots of things happening, and some major decisions to be made. Cutting this one short so I can go spend time with my family. Some of them are leaving to head back to Seattle in the morning, while the rest of them get to stay until the end of the week. It’s been such a privilege to be able to spend time with them. I so love them.

Better go get some chili before it gets cold. Have a splendid evening, friends. Don’t forget to enjoy the brisk fall weather. And hug your loved ones close.

Sending out a very Happy Birthday wish to my niece, Aislynn. Aunt Kellie loves you so much. You are a precious and wonderful gift from God.

And go Cowboys!!!

November Blog Series: Day 13

Day thirteen. I’m gonna blow off some steam…

People are disgusting. Know why? Because of dirty diapers, aluminum cans, broken bottles, empty snuff cans, soggy paper towel remnants, candy paper, cigarette butts, oily rags, mangled wire coat hangers, empty beer bottles, old shoes, gum rappers, lotto ticket stubs, old newspapers, sandpaper, machine parts, the remains of a cardboard box, a half-empty jar of peanut butter, hair barrettes, Legos, stuffed unicorn toys, marbles, plastic dishes, used condoms, tube of toothpaste, egg cartons, Snickers wrapper, three empty cases of Dr. Pepper, bottle caps, twine, tape, a used diaphragm (not kidding), set of drumsticks, empty box of fried chicken (complete with gnawed-on bones), baby socks and someone’s dentures…

…are just a few of the things I’ve spent the last couple of hours picking up outside. (Helping some friends pick up trash from around the buildings they own in town.)

Now, I will be the first to tell you that I do my best to stay optimistic about the human race, but after this morning’s trash montage adventures, I have a nice big flaw in my theory that people are basically good.

I’m now banking on lazy.

Really? I mean, how much effort does it actually take to walk to a trashcan (or dumpster), open the lid and discard your crap?

Thank goodness I had on industrial strength gloves!

And what the heck are these Richard Craniums doing to result in that kind of trash in a public area???

I place partial blame on the convenience store next door. Evidently, the staff doesn’t ever bother to come outside to tidy up the property. Go figure. So when careless idiots toss trash out of their car windows, or they can’t find that great big, green bin labeled “GARBAGE CAN”, it leaves it available to blow all over my friends’ property with the slightest breeze.

The rest of the blame I place on society as a whole. People drift through life with a sense of entitlement, because society has convinced them that it’s not necessary to exert any effort into anything. Don’t have a job? That’s okay. I’ll keep busting MY ass so that MY tax dollars will pay for you to sit around. Can’t afford to eat? That’s okay. You just keep on driving that BMW and collecting food stamps. I mean, heaven forbid you not look cool, even if your kids are starving. Don’t want to throw away your trash? Well, that’s okay, too. Because I guarantee you there’s someone who takes enough value in the appearance of his or her property to go out and pick it up for you.

Why is society perpetuating this concept of appealing to the lowest common denominator? Why are we dumbing down America so that those who truly put in their time and hard work are left holding the bag? Why are we allowing this lazy, negligent attitude of carelessness and disrespect for others? When did it become acceptable to stop taking responsibility for our actions and lose all consideration for our neighbors?

I believe in helping people. Not handing out to people.

Empower them.

Don’t enable them.

I know I kind of went off the deep end there, but it all ties together. It’s the little things – like the simple task of not littering – that make me sit and stew about the bigger things. It just frustrates and disappoints me that people have such little respect for others.

**sigh**

On a happier note, my parents’ party was a success last night. My feet still hurt from dancing. Lots of family and friends were there. There was so much love in that room last night. It just warms my insides thinking of each smiling face that’s been a part of our lives. Most of them have known my sister and me since we were just knee-high to a grasshopper. What a glorious milestone for my parents to celebrate 60 years on earth, and 40 of them spent together. I am so honored to have been raised by the two greatest people a woman could ever ask for. They have been incredible, loving Christian examples to me. And no matter how proud they may be of me, I am proudest to be their daughter.

Continuing on with the good vibes, I am really looking forward to this evening. Along with the Aggies whipping the fire, hell and brimstone out of the Bears, my family has a “big kids” night out planned at Grand Station. It will be great to cut up and let loose a little. **smiles**

Headed out for today. Gotta go buy some stuff to spoil my niece with (her birthday is Sunday). Think I’ll see if any clinics are open, too. Might have to get a hepatitis shot after this morning.

Farmers Fight! WHOOP!!

November Blog Series: Day 12

Good morning! Welcome to day twelve. It’s a beautiful Friday. There’s air in my lungs, a smile on my face, a new car in my driveway, party tonight, football and fun tomorrow…wow! What a great way to kick off the weekend!

Since my night will undoubtedly be busy laughing, mingling, eating fajitas and dancing, I am posting early today. Don’t worry, though. I have a few ideas for some interesting topics next week.

So, last night after the majority of the crowd left my parents’ house, there were six of us sitting in the living room, talking and watching “Grey’s Anatomy”. The DVR interrupted football, but my dad was a good sport about it. Daddy sat in his recliner, Jackie sat in the other recliner, Blake stretched out on the loveseat (feet hanging off because he’s so tall) and Aunt Phyllis sat in the rocking chair. I was curled up at the opposite end of the couch from Mom, and was glued to my laptop getting ready to post my blog.

I will try to reiterate the following conversation as accurately as possible…

Daddy (referring to me): “What are you on over there?”
Jackie (jokingly): “Drugs?”
**a round of laughter from everyone**
Me: “Working on posting my blog.”
Daddy: “What is a blog?”
Me: “It’s kind of like a short story, or daily account of life and events. For fun. You know, I just write and tell.”
**Daddy gets a puzzled look on his face**
Daddy: “Well, who are you tellin’?”
**Blake about falls off the loveseat from laughing so hard**
Me (laughing, too): “Whoever reads it. My public.”
**discussion about the invention of blogging ensues**
Blake: “Are you on Twitter?”
Me: “Yes, but really only for my business.”
Daddy: “What is a Twitter?”
Mom: “A brief version of a blog.”
**Daddy looks confused, and mildly amused**
Blake: “Do you tweet about blogging?”
Me: “Sometimes.”
**discussion about the different venues of social media begins**
Me (again): “You ‘blurb’ on Twitter. Kind of like Facebook.”
Daddy: “Wouldn’t you call that a ‘twit’?”
Mom (to my dad): “Not a twit, dear, a ‘tweet’.”
**Daddy shakes his head, smiling**

I can’t recall the rest of the conversation. It was hard to concentrate while laughing so hard. Of course, for the remainder of the evening all of us made wisecracks about the new terms my dad had learned. Like, when a “suggestive” scene began to take place, someone would interject, “Uh oh, looks like someone’s gonna start ‘blogging’.” Or, when a cute commercial would come on, someone would say, “Awww, isn’t that ‘tweet’?”

My dad has only recently become accustomed to the internet. He, Google and eBay have become the Three Amigos. I’ve loaded iTunes on his computer for him, along with lots and lots of songs for his entertainment, but I still think he feels overwhelmed. Slowly, he is learning about the vast outreaches of cyberspace. It’s made for some interesting topics of conversation. Ya just gotta love my dad, though. If I have anything to do with it, I will eventually get him on Facebook. The world might cease to turn, but mark my words – it will happen.

That is all for today, friends. Have fun with all of the blurbing, blogging tweeting and posting!

Until next time…

November Blog Series: Day 11

Day eleven. Second day into the double digits.

As I’m sitting here typing this, I am listening to the pitch of the laughter and rambunctiousness swirling around the living room and kitchen. It has been a wonderfully chaotic day, and even with all of the crowded noise, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. My heart feels full.

And so does my belly. Mercy! Earlier this evening, there were 20 people in the house, including four very lively children (all under the age of four). Between the two giant briskets my dad cooked today, the five racks of ribs (uncle), potato salad, cole slaw, ranch potatoes (for those that don’t like potato salad), baked beans, homemade rolls, apple crisp and banana pudding…wait…did I miss anything?...nope…we are all sufficiently, blissfully and miserably stuffed sick. Although, my cousins Jared and Blake, stole the show with how much food they consumed. I feel like ralphing just thinking about it. Not surprising though. Both of them are about the size of two NFL linebackers, so it makes sense that they need a substantial amount of food for their bodies to function. I think they have extra hidden compartments in their legs, and when they stand up from the table they just give their bodies a good shimmy and shake and then, poof, more room.

After dinner, the men folk retreated to watch football, while the women folk bathed the children. How does stuff always manage to end up encrusted in the hair? But, forty-five minutes later, we ended up with four clean kids snug in their jammies, five towels, half a dozen bath toys in various places of the bathroom and hallway, and one very soaked bathroom floor. Smiles.

I am also the proud owner of a new car! At least, it’s new to me. It’s a dark silver Volkswagen Passat. It’s cool. And I love the turbo-charged engine. Boy, does it zing! Wheeeeeeeee! Lots of fun around the curves. What? I had to test out its maneuverability and steering capabilities. For safety reasons. Wanted to make sure I was buying a car that was fun…um…I mean, safe, to drive and easy to handle.

And, oh my word! I had no idea car insurance was so expensive! Granted, I haven’t owned a car in three years (don’t ask how I managed – it was next to impossible), but between yesterday and today, I have a big chunk of money missing from my savings. It’s totally worth it! There’s just something about having your own vehicle that adds to your independence. More smiles.

Tomorrow evening is my parents’ party. We still have to finish the wine bottles and the music playlist. And my cousin Jackie and I are still conspiring to sneak in some Poison and Beyoncé. We will prevail…when most of the “riper aged crowd” begins to matriculate out the door.

Gotta go for the evening. Lots to get done before I get to check my eyelids for light leaks. My ears might be ringing from the constant buzz of noise today, but that buzzing will graduate to a very large chainsaw once I hit my pillow.

Nighty night, friends. May your life be blessed enough to fall asleep and wake up every day with a smile.

November Blog Series: Day 10

Day ten. Only twenty more days to go until my daily blog writing challenge is completed. I have half a mind to attempt this again in a few months to try and keep myself focused.

The Seattle hoard arrives this evening, and I am soooo excited! And my parents’ party is just two days away! Mom and I estimated around 90+ that are planning to show. That’s a lot of fajita fixin’s! Tonight, my sister and I have to finish “breaking” the scored wine bottles for the hurricane candle lamps. Lots of work going into those, but the end result will be well worth it. We also have to finish up our playlist. Lots of fun 50s and 60s tunes, as well as some classic country. My bro-in-law has insisted we bass to Coolio’s “Gangsta’s Paradise” during the meal, but since we won’t have any EMTs on hand, we might have to nix that idea.

If I have anything to with it, we WILL throw in some AC/DC. “Shook Me All Night Long” is always a crowd pleaser. It’s amazing how many people shake it to that song – even with artificial hips and walkers (just kidding). Hell, maybe I’ll go all out and throw in some Marvin Gaye! That would expend just about any shred of sanity I have left. But, it might be fun to test that theory. All hail groovin’ with the Baby Boomers!

On that note, if my parents’ generation is known as the Baby Boomers, does that make my generation known as the “Baby Boomer Boomers”? Or the “Baby Baby Boomers”? We’ll just trim it down the to “Triple Bs”.

Word up, Triple Bs?

Pain meds are great. Can’t you tell?

Anyway, still have lots to do before Friday evening’s festivities take place. Should be a great time, though. Saturday, we are planning a “date” night of sorts. We are planning “big kids” night out at Koppe Bridge (best burgers on the planet!) and bowling, pool, laser tag and games at Grand Station. Only problem is that I don’t have a date. Typical. It will be three couples and me. By myself. I will be the seventh wheel (if there is such a thing). **sigh**

I’d really like to be at the Baylor vs. A&M game, but since I don’t get to see my Seattle family very often, I am really looking forward to spending time with them. Plus, I already know the Aggies are going to beat the fuzzy bear britches off the Bears, so there’s no point in enduring any embarrassment for the other team. WHOOP!

Sunday is my niece’s birthday party. She is going to be three! I swear that kid is three going on 13. Her vocabulary and comprehension absolutely amazes me! We are going to roast hot dogs around a campfire, and enjoy some s’mores. Maybe play some 42 and Spades. And of course, I’m looking forward to seeing whatever antics my cousins and uncle will have up their sleeves when faced with the temptation of anything relating to pyromania. The smallest event usually turns into something highly entertaining when my family is involved. We are cool like that.

Well, my friends, I’m signing off early again today. Lots to do this afternoon. Heading out in a while to go take a look at a car I may buy. Kind of excited about that. Ready to trade in Robert Redford (an old farm truck, it’s red and it’s a Ford – get it? Hahaha! I kill me…), for something a little newer and more economical.

Lots of good things on the horizon, but I’ll save those for another day. Need to leave myself some options to write about in the near future.

Word to ya muthas!

November Blog Series: Day 9

Day nine.

Fear.

“Fear is an emotional response to a perceived threat. It is a basic survival mechanism occurring in response to a specific stimulus, such as pain or the threat of danger. Some psychologists such as John B. Watson, Robert Plutchik, and Paul Ekman have suggested that fear belongs to a small set of basic or innate emotions. This set also includes such emotions as joy, sadness, and anger. Fear should be distinguished from the related emotional state of anxiety, which typically occurs without any external threat. Additionally, fear is related to the specific behaviors of escape and avoidance, whereas anxiety is the result of threats, which are perceived to be uncontrollable or unavoidable. Worth noting is that fear almost always relates to future events, such as worsening of a situation, or continuation of a situation that is unacceptable. Fear could also be an instant reaction to something presently happening.” – as defined by Wikipedia

Yep. I think I experienced just about every form of the aforementioned reactions associated with “fear” today. Mix in a good rounded dose of “anxiety” and that just about sums up my day.

Without getting overly personal, I’ll just tell you that, medically, it’s been a rough couple of days. Amazingly enough, I’ve remained of sound mind. Which surprises me. (I have a tendency to worry on occasion.) I know I’ve been in good Hands.

Know what the scary part is? The not knowing. And then finding out that what you (and the doctors) thought they knew is, in fact, not it at all. And that it could be something else. Or nothing at all. If that makes any sense. But, this too, shall pass. And passing it is.

Cutting my blog short tonight. I know I cheated a little bit, but since I wrote two yesterday, I figure they’ve contributed a substantial effort to make up for today’s written shortcomings.

I’ll leave you with a poem that a treasured friend sent me a while back…

This Too Shall Pass

If I can endure for this minute

Whatever is happening to me,

No matter how heavy my heart is

Or how dark the moment may be



If I can remain calm and quiet

With all the world crashing about me,

Secure in the knowledge God loves me

When everyone else seems to doubt me



If I can but keep on believing

What I know in my heart to be true
That darkness will fade with the morning

And that this will pass away, too



Then nothing in life can defeat me

For as long as this knowledge remains

I can suffer whatever is happening

For I know God will break all of the chains



That are binding me tight in the darkness

And trying to fill me with fear

For there is no night without dawning

And I know that my morning is near

- Helen Steiner Rice

To my wonderful prayer warriors… My deepest gratitude goes out to you. You are loved.

Dream Again

I remember reading somewhere that dreams are the subconscious wishes of our heart to achieve what our brain deems to be the impossible. On that same note, why do we feel our hearts break a little when our dreams don’t come true?

When we allow ourselves to feel things deeply, it transforms us. Changes us. Sure, we might look the same on the outside, but inside we are lifted to a level that is higher than what we though ourselves capable. We view the world, and the people in it, with new eyes. Eyes that refuse to see fault. Eyes that gaze upon the objects of our affection with a poetic sense of wonder and perfection – be it a person, a goal, an obstacle to overcome, or a dream we keep inside us. We are buzzing with the energy of inspiration, and that feeling of euphoria propels us further, frees our imaginations, and helps us to focus on what we thought to be unattainable.

If one dream fails, perhaps it means that it was never supposed to be ours to begin with. And still we find the renewed strength within us to reach above and beyond our own perceived limitations. The ache in our heart heals, making us stronger and more confident for the next bout of trials. We tell ourselves that if we survived a failure once, we will surely bear it again, and recognize the signs when we’re on the wrong path.

Giving of our whole heart leaves us vulnerable, open to deeper wounds. And deeper disappointment. Yet, we find our capacity to feel has broadened. With each hardship we gain new knowledge and wisdom. With each mistake we grow. We find courage in our struggles to overcome the odds against us, for the devil knows no greater joy than seeing us fall. And fall we refuse.

The heart retains so much of who we are. Our brains are analytical, black and white. It processes facts, information and intellect. It distributes the necessary impulses to make us function. But our hearts...our hearts are a deep abyss of pure emotion. Love, hate, longing, hope. Every sentiment we experience might begin in the brain, but it is felt in the heart. Residually, it breaks when we fail. When we lose a loved one. When we are betrayed. And it seems to swell to twice its size when we practice patience. Endure hope. Feel a sense of pride. Fall in love. Accomplish greatness.

Dare we dream big at the risk of coming up empty handed? Things worth having rarely come easily, and rarely come without risk. There is profound beauty in the moments we sacrifice everything and put our hearts on the line, because we stand to lose it all. Our ability to hurt is coupled with our ability to love. One cannot exist without the other. Dreams cannot exist without the heart.

We remain still unwilling to deny our hearts the opportunity to start over, to burn with the flames of a new wish. And so we wipe away our tears and begin again. Stronger this time.

Breaking a heart isn’t depriving it of love or hope, but rather, taking away its dream. When it is denied what it so achingly desires, it is left void. It beats no longer with the energy invested in longing for the one thing that makes it powerful with emotion. Its valiant rhythm is interrupted, broken.

Until another inspiration comes along and awakens it to dream again.