Thursday, January 13, 2011

Drama Drama Drama

I never cease to be entertained from my frequent coffee shop outings. Of course, I’m not really “outing” so much as I’m slacking. I call it “slacking” because I should be writing my book, but inevitably, I find myself suffering from writer’s block. I have retyped and edited the same paragraph so many times that I’ve lost count. It’s very frustrating. Several months ago when I first began writing, I preemptively cursed myself, foolishly believing that I would never suffer from such a feat. Um, wrong.

I find it equally frustrating, or rather ironic, that I can conjure up b.s. to post on my blog, but cannot finish the current chapter of my book. I think a hammer, a punching bag and some matches might make me feel better. Or land me in jail. Or a padded room.  On the evening news.  And on the front page of tomorrow morning's newspaper.  But, hey, at least I’d have something new to write about.

I got off course a tad. Back to my point…

Or not.

A short while ago, outside the window of the couch where I’m sitting, there was a couple in the midst of a very heated argument. So heated that not only could I hear them yelling at each other from inside the café, but I could also distinguish the topic of their clash through my ear buds, which I’m wearing while I’m listening to iTunes. (Of course, I turned down my music so I could listen. Drama.) Young lady had quite a healthy set of lungs on her. In her defense, her “significant other” had been sexting another girl. (“Sexting” is engaging in flirtatious and sexual promiscuity through texting.) I think I learned some new four-letter words. Checkmark for today.

(And for the record, I was in the midst of a similar scene myself yesterday (though NOT about sexting, so I’m digesting the theory of self-improvement with this subject.)

Which brings me to my subject for this post: is it acceptable to argue in public?

Personally, I don’t think it’s a good idea. I’m an eternal optimist, if not a bit on the romantic side of delusion, when it comes to life. I don’t demand euphoria every second of the day, but I always try to look on the bright side of things and understand them realistically. I’m the kind of person that wants everyone else around me to be happy and having a good time. This especially applies to arguing. It makes me uncomfortable to be around others arguing, be it at home or in a public place. In my own experience, I don’t necessarily avoid confrontations, but I don’t like to get into an argument unless it’s something really important, or addressing the particular issue is critical. I don’t hold grudges. I fight for the moment and then move on. I don’t fight to win so much as I fight to make my point. Often, I am wrong. I admit it. (shhhhh, don’t repeat that) But when I feel strongly about something, I’m not afraid to assert my opinions.

Are some people just in it to win it? I think so. Some people are argumentative by nature. Or defiant. Or rebellious. Or stubborn. (I’m convinced a combination of these qualities is the real reason lawyers exist. Oh, and reality courtroom television.)

For example, ever watched a political debate? It’s really just a structured argument where both sides present their best 'self-sales pitch' to win the support of the viewers. If the subtexts of the debate were aired at the bottom of the screen, it would likely read, “Yeah, Bub, kiss my hairy butt. Your makeup artist missed a spot. Are we still vacationing in The Hamptons this weekend?” It’s all for show. Now, I know the issues are real and so are the conservative or liberal foundation points, but it’s still a means to entertainment and exposing the vulnerable side of the opponent. Which is basically what arguing really is.

And drama. Which I know nothing about. **gasp** Me? Dramatic???  Never!

So…back to my point. (I keep straying here)

Personally, arguing in public is just as bad as PDA. It’s inconsiderate and makes others feel awkward. At the same time, it’s like a car wreck. Morbidly fascinating, and hard to look away. The poor girl (we’ll call her “Eva ‘Lung’oria"), was in tears by the time it was all over. Now guys, I know you have a point to make, but no matter what the subject concerns it is just not acceptable to make your girl cry in public.  Ever.  “Phony Parker” should not have crossed that line. Nor should "Eva" have been a willing participant to his rant.  Take it to the car. Better yet, take it home. (That way, there’s no chance of the hot make up sex being initiated in public.)

Know what I think when I see people partaking in that? I feel sorry for them. Mainly because they have so little personal integrity or maturity to not get involved in it. It speaks volumes in regards to their true colors. It’s upsetting to hear someone degrading, berating and condescending to another. It’s disrespectful. And classless.

Me being involved in a similar situation yesterday = irony. But I’m preaching to myself, too, so ner! **sticks tongue out**

We are all slaves to the sycophantic patterns of human nature. It’s a high for us when we’re able to make others squirm sometimes. I can be pretty insensitive myself on occasion. But, I usually dream up revenge and romanticize about notions of comeuppance in my head. That’s about the extent of my plotting. My guilty conscience is a hard layer to dissolve, and inevitably I end up feeling bad for entertaining thoughts of retaliation. Regardless of the circumstances. And even if they deserve it.

I was in quite a tizzy earlier about an issue I was having and I had a friend tell me, “Quit acting like your three-year-old kid was just diagnosed with terminal cancer.” (That’s a direct quote.) I could feel the proverbial smack of reality hitting me. At first, it pissed me off. I thought about arguing, but my friend is right. It certainly put things in perspective. Case in point: although sometimes arguing is necessary to confront a problem, more often than not it is unconstructive and cyclic. We get caught up in emotional competition of winning rather than rationally solving the problem at hand. Pick your battles. Don’t stress over minor dilemmas and let them interfere with your life. Especially when it’s out of your control.

So what happened to the arguing couple? Don’t know. I had half a mind to go outside and offer “Eva” a hug after it was over, but I was hesitant to get involved. “Phony” went one way, while “Eva” sat at the table…sniffling in the cold, tears steaming down her face…on her iPhone…deleting him from Facebook, tweeting about what a jerk he is…arranging to have his tires slashed.

Is there an app for “The Clap”? Hope he gets it from all of his sexting. Jerk.

**sigh** Drama drama drama.

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