November Blog Series: Day 21

Day twenty-one. Bleck.

I’ve been tossing and turning since a little before 4:00am this morning. Mainly, because I couldn’t breathe very well. And spent most of the night choking on my own snot and getting sick at my stomach from inadvertently swallowing it.

Lovely description, I know. Part of writing is being able to speak the brutal truth though. Mission accomplished.

I hate being sick. Despise it. Loathe it. Detest it. Is there a stronger word to describe it? Not sure, but I’d love to come up with a more colorful phrase to properly damnify this abominating state I’m in.

Why why why can’t people please just stay the hell at home when they’re sick? And wash their hands? No one wants your crap! Especially me! I know some of you don’t have the benefits of sick leave (myself included), but when you go to work (or out in public), you stand the risk of infecting others with your nasty germs. Then they get sick, and so on. It becomes a vicious cycle of disgust, thus affecting the fluctuation of the economy.

So, in essence, the state of the economy depends on you. Stay home.

I have to conjure up the strength to pack some bags later, as I am house/dog-sitting for some friends of mine starting tomorrow until the end of the month. They are flying to New York to visit family for the holidays. I am seriously looking forward to getting out of my current surroundings. And enjoying some peace and quiet. Hope to get some writing done. Lounge around in my pajamas. Order take-out. You see, I live in a rural area (which I LOVE), but often I go without the simple conveniences of living closer to civilization – such as a pizza delivery.

I also can’t wait to start reading my new book, “Decision Points” by George W. Bush (a gift from a friend). I can read until all hours of the morning if I want, and then blissfully, and lazily, sleep as long as I want the next day. Ahhhhh, the little joys in life.

About to go load up on meds to help be breathe.

Maybe overdose on ibuprofen and slip into a nice little coma.

November Blog Series: Day 20

Day twenty. Ten more days.

And let me just say that those corn-fed Nebraska boys don’t got nothin’ on the Aggies! Talk about a nail biter of a game! Wow! Final score 9-6, and between the Wrecking Crew and Nebraska’s defense, field goals seemed to be the only possible means of getting numbers on the board.

AND, Texas A&M set the record of having the largest stadium crowd in history at tonight’s game! This past week, on November 18th, was the eleven-year anniversary of the fateful Bonfire collapse. Twelve students lost their lives, but it was evident tonight that their spirits were with us on the field, lifting us to new heights. Once again victorious, the rush of courage was fervent as silent hands clasped tangible ones, urging their brothers onward...together in unity...holding steadfast to the faith and strength in the hearts of thousands of Aggies...past, present and future.

“There’s a spirit that can ne’er be told.”

Farmers Fight! WHOOOOOOOP!!!

Next week, we’re gonna Beat The Hell Outta TU!! Can ya hear the grill, Bevo? It’s ready for ya to sizzle!

So, winding down a glorious evening of football victory, I am just about beat. I spent the morning and early afternoon with a wonderful friend as we grabbed brunch at Cracker Barrel and then perused the Texas Rangers Museum in Waco. Got a few painting estimates done for some faux finishing (I do it for fun now, and usually only for close friends and family). Took a nice two-hour nap after I got home this afternoon. Woke up and spent some time with my niece. Went to Chili’s with my sister and niece and spent more time yelling at the A&M vs. Nebraska game on the television than eating our meal. Trekked to the mall and treated myself to a new sweater and some sterling silver hoops. Waved at Santa Claus. Checked Twitter and Facebook for score updates. Bought my niece a giant lollipop from the candy store. Came seriously close to stealing two of the cutest Boston Terrier puppies I’ve ever seen at The Puppy Store (large purses rock!). Went to Cold Stone for ice cream. Listened to the game broadcast on the radio on the drive home. Then watched the last five minutes of it on television, jumping up and down, screaming, at my sister’s house. Now, I’m typing my blog because I realize that in about 45 minutes, the day will be over. I’m on a roll and I haven’t missed a day yet.

What a great way to wind down a fantastic day! And now I must pay homage to my pillow.

Don’t really have much more to say, except, “good night, friends.”

Oh, wait...and, "Gig 'Em!"

November Blog Series: Day 19

Friday. Whoo-hoo! Day nineteen.

Option one meeting went well. I am now sitting in the hotel room watching “Tremors”. Terrible blast from the past. Then again, most of the movies I watched back then are cheesy as all get out. And as an adult, I realize that watching them as a child, I had absolutely no clue what the storyline was actually about.

So, reflecting on my blog from a couple of days ago, when I likely confused all of you with all my talk of “options”, I would now like to add two more to the list.

Yes, that is correct. There are now five options in the near future before me. A couple of them are still extremely premature, but appealing nonetheless. We shall see.

Boom.

Boom!

BOOM!!

It’s nice to get hit with so many opportunities, but I’m starting to feel like the universe may be playing a trick on me. I just know there must be a third party on the line each time I get a phone call, covering their mouth to keep the snorting muffled as they listen to me get my hopes up. The phone conversation ends, and this “person” turns to a room full of friends who all burst into laughter at my expense saying, “Sucka!”

Yeah, I’m warped. No need to remind me.

But, really, it’s a pleasant dilemma to be in. I know there are others who are far less fortunate than I, for they are absorbed in the arduous task of job searching with little feedback.

And let’s face it, I am banking on a windfall in the future – like, in the form of a winning lotto ticket – but until that day comes, bills still need to be paid.

**sigh** Another day, another dollar. And all that jazz.

However, I’m not complaining. I have a roof over my head. My ribs most definitely are not sticking out. I have a vehicle. Great friends. A loving family. My faith. Oh yes, let’s not forget a closet full of fabulous shoes! I am surrounded by a plethora of good things.

So, I pose the question: why is everything coming together so easily now? I don’t feel like I’ve deserved a leg up any more than the next person. There are countless people who have struggled through far more dire circumstances than me, and certainly they deserve to have a few diamonds fall at their feet, too. Part of the ride in life is dealing with the unexpected, thus taking a few wrong turns and learning the roads, but sometimes I would really like to know what this is all adding up to. I’m just an ordinary person. Nothing particularly exceptional. Common. But, I have a whole lotta heart.

And maybe that’s what turns the average into the extraordinary. Everyday people, doing their best to make ends meet and go about the daily grind, until something unusual comes along to propel them to greatness.

I can live with that.

November Blog Series: Day 18

Day eighteen. I’m exactly one month older from when I celebrated my “non-birthday” on this day last month. But, you know what ‘they’ say…“age is just a number.”

If that’s true, I don’t feel a day over eighteen. I’m proud to be young at heart, and hope I always embrace that concept.

Tomorrow is quickly approaching, and though I’m still feeling overwhelmed about the decision-making I will face (option one), I’m feeling much more positive than I have in the past week. I have a good strategy in mind, and hope to assert myself in a confident and professional manner. And not cave. Or backtrack.

Keep the faith.

And speaking of faith, I am so humbled to be supported by an incredible network of family and friends who have never lost their faith in me. And of course, I must thank the Almighty Father. He’s had my back all along, too. He has never failed me. I know when the time comes, I am armed with the intelligence and experience to make the best choices that He has selected for me. That is a comfort.

It seems that so much is falling into place… my job prospects are lining up, I have a new car, a new attitude, a new trust in myself...I am happy. Genuinely happy. Are there things about myself that I want changed? Physically, yes (all women do). Emotionally, no. I have endured the things in my life for a specific purpose; all of which have led me to this phase of my life.

Charging forward into my future, I face the unknown. And though the road has been tough at times, every ache, every scar, and every smile has made a breathtaking impact of permanence on my heart. It is all a part of the woman I am – through and through.

My time is now. Going forward, I realize that I’m in the prime of my life. There is nothing holding me back. There has never been a more opportune time for me to start over and leave the past behind. Not forgotten, but forgiven.

Since we are not guaranteed the promise of tomorrow, I want to get a little sentimental for a moment…

Words cannot express the gratitude to those of you who have believed in me, rooted for me, prayed for me, encouraged me, supported me, lifted me up and never doubted my strength or abilities. Even when I did. “Love” is not an adequate enough word to describe how deeply I feel for all of you. Each of you holds a cherished place in my soul and I will forever be grateful that God made you a part of my life.

I am beyond blessed.

November Blog Series: Day 17

Day seventeen.

Don’t really have much to say today. My brain is busy analyzing the decisions I will soon have to make. Decisions that concern my career.

Option one gives me stability and structure, and less money (likely).

Option two gives me a greater amount of freedom and flexibility, and more money. But less stability.

Hmmm…

I’m torn between the two, AND a third option that’s on the near horizon (concerning my writing). It’s wonderful to be hit with so many opportunities, especially in this economy. BUT, it’s also very overwhelming. I’m doing my best not to over-think things and weigh my preferences according to what feels right.

Though, I’m not quite sure what feels right at this point. I will have to wait until the weekend, when I will be forced to contend with the specific circumstances that surround option one.

And if I choose option one, will I blow my chances with option two?

Will option two still be available if I take option one and then decide I made the wrong decision?

What if I choose option two and then it falls through and I wish I would’ve chosen option one?

Does option three render options one and two pointless?

I suddenly feel like I’m in the middle of a terrible math-solving riddle.

AAARRRRGGGHHH!

“God grant me the serenity 
to accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

“Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time; 

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; 

Taking, as He did, this sinful world
 as it is, not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make all things right 
if I surrender to His will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life 
and supremely happy with Him 
Forever in the next.
”

- Reinhold Niebuhr

Amen.

I hate to be a wuss, but my brain has nearly fried from an abundance of assessing. Need to put it on my pillow before the fuses start blowing from all of the circuits firing at once.

Stay tuned…

November Blog Series: Day 16

Tuesday. Day sixteen. This day is draaaaaaaggiiinnng.

Sitting here staring at the screen. Have I mentioned how much of a pain in the butt this is? I’m bored out of my mind today. Waiting on some other things to come together before I complete some pending projects. **sigh** I hate waiting. I’m impatient! I demand instant gratification!

Yeah, dream on.

I mean, c’mon! I’m even sitting in my home away from home (coffee house)! I blame the aroma. It’s making me loopy instead of inspiring me to write. Though honestly, I’m at a standstill with my writing until I know which way the story is headed. I’ve completely betrayed my outline. It now exists for my entertainment only. I look at it from time to time so it doesn’t feel lonely intermixed with all of the completed chapters.

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah…

That’s about all that’s in my head at the moment.

I am, however, enjoying the interesting pitch and cadence of “valley girl speak” by a couple of girls near me. I’ve completely lost count of the “totallys” and “likes”.

Like, totally.

Speaking of ‘dumb’, did you know that the majority of college students nowadays don’t even know how to write in cursive? WTF? Not kidding. What is America coming to that its young people don’t even know how to write their signatures? Evidently, the art of cursive writing is being rendered obsolete. And since everything in the mainstream has been reduced to sound bites and blurbs, I guess it makes sense that basic grammar and writing skills are being affected.

Like, OMG!

Ey’thg is GR8, tho! So much cooler 2 type this way! IDK. Not! MMWTBMFBO!

(Confused? Thought you might be. That last one is the representation for ‘makes me want to blow my freakin’ brains out’)

Know what I wanna do right now? Stand up in the middle of this place and suddenly let out a loud, blood-curdling scream at the top of my lungs. Think that would get anyone’s attention? The management may or may not find it amusing…while they call the authorities…who then proceed to load me up and take to the psych ward.

I may just go willingly. Might find some things to blog about.

I shouldn’t joke about things like that. Some days I feel like I have a few screws loose. Today is one of them. I’m restless. Anxious. Feeling the pressure about some decisions looming in the near future. Like, at the end of this week. I think my mind and body must be preparing for the stress I know is going to seep in.

My adrenaline is literally surging superfast through my veins. My hands are nearly shaking as I type this (not to mention I’m typing much faster than usual). I feel like I could sprint up and down the freeway and not lose any physical momentum. What’s up with that, Pike? I’ve only had one tall latte (with a shot of white mocha, of course).

Think I’ll go for a drive in my new car. I know there must be some roads in this county that I haven’t driven in the last five days.

Geez, I’m reaching. Blowing this popsicle stand before I lose it any further.

Talk 2 u L8R, peeps.

Like, for reals!

November Blog Series: Day 15

Day fifteen. Halfway there.

I have a new way to spell “lazy”. It’s K-E-L-L-I-E. Because it’s pretty much what I’ve been all day. A big, lazy slug. I didn’t manage to accomplish much of anything besides occupy extra space on the planet. Oh, and I breathed in and out, too.

I both cherish and despise days like this.

Cherish because sometimes it’s wonderful to just do nothing. It was the perfect day for it – overcast, wet, cold. There’s nothing like crawling back into a warm bed after you’ve decided that it’s a much better place than being awake in the living room.

Despise because I don’t like feeling unproductive. Not doing something makes me feel stale, like an old cracker. Stale days make me feel like I’ve wasted time. Wasted time makes me feel like I’m falling behind.

The cycle begins.

Consequently, I will no doubt think of things tomorrow that I should have taken the time to do today. And I’ll be mad at myself for procrastinating. I tend to do that on occasion.

However…

There are advantages to procrastination and laziness. Sooner or later, you (in general) get so fed up with yourself that you have no other choice but to do something exceptional to get out of your funk. Before you know it, you’re charging full steam ahead. At least, that’s how it happens for me. This especially applies to my writing. Once I’ve ignored it for a while (sometimes not on purpose – writer’s block), it’s easier to come back to. Something will strike a creative nerve of inspiration, and I become a writing machine once again.

I must be patient, though.

Well…?

Obviously I’m not inspired today. It’s taking every ounce of effort I can muster to type this. As I’m sure you can tell.

Think I’ll continue my streak of laziness and quit early. I want to watch “House” that recorded earlier on the DVR, and eat a piece of leftover cake from my parents’ party this past Friday evening. Then I might soak in a hot tub of water, read and go to bed.

And if I’m going to achieve the pinnacle of extreme laziness, it makes sense that I won’t even exert the effort to finish typing this sente…