Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Witchy Woman

Today is Wednesday. Soapbox Wednesday. I haven’t had a good rant in a while, so I figured with it being “hump day” I would hump out some things that are bugging me.

And yes, these issues are minor, mind you, but I need to vent about them nonetheless.

First, there comes a time in each adult’s life where they need to stop dressing up for Halloween merely for the sake of going door-to-door to get candy. I could be, I'm not...but that seems a little pathetic. What’s even worse is when they venture out sans costume, carrying a plastic bag.



If it weren’t for the innocent kids trekking through the neighborhoods (sometimes with them), I would pelt ‘em with candy corn, and then soak ‘em with a blast from the water hose. Yeah, you know who you are. If you’re that desperate for candy, my advice is to hop on over to Wally World and buy a few packages of those orange circus peanuts and gummy worms for 50 cents each.

On that note, if you are going to dress up, for Pete’s sake be creative. I know there are plenty of parties where dressing up to look like a Catholic schoolgirl or a seductive kitten is sexy, but leave some things to the imagination. Or at least, cover it up while you’re in public as you make your way from one rave to the next. Better yet, save those costumes specifically for your man. I guarantee you he will be more than happy to help you test out the strength of the material’s seams.

But, alas, sex sells.

Several years ago, I attended a Halloween party with a friend, in which several of us (including me) entered a costume contest. I wasn’t really dressed to compete, but since the grand prize was a $200 Visa gift card, I figured, “what the heck”. Know who won? A girl wearing a towel. That’s it. (Well, maybe a thong to cover up her “goodies”, but I wasn’t straining to see anything.) She was dressed up like she was “fresh out of the shower”. The panel of judges consisted entirely of men.

I swear I am not a sore loser by any means, but…yeah…will refrain from elaborating any more on that subject.

Maybe I’m old school, but I think the idea of dressing up (speaking of adults here) should be to emulate some sort of disguise. In years past, when I haven’t been too lazy to come up with a costume (or rather, had a reason to wear one), I’ve always dressed up to the point where someone will have to stop and look at me for a second, thinking who is that? I love getting into character – clothing, face paint, hair, and attitude – the whole nine yards. It’s fun. I do it to break out of my shell for an evening. Not for the candy.

Maybe this makes me sound like a “witch”, but it feels refreshing to fuss for a few moments. **echoing cackle**

Second, I am torn between being upset with my church at the moment, and resolving to just accept the decisions being made and keep my mouth shut. Sometimes I feel like it would serve me well to carry around a tiny saltshaker to add some flavor to my shoe.

But, since I’m on a roll and can’t very well squish all of the worms back into the can, here goes…

My church is hosting an annual Halloween Carnival this coming Saturday. Although, it’s simply called a “Fall Carnival” so as not to include any negative connotations that may be associated with the word “Halloween”. There will be food, fun, games, a cakewalk and face painting (by yours truly), etc. Sounds fun, right?


Except for one, really big factor.

Supposedly, the kids are being discouraged from dressing up. Why? These are mostly country kids, folks. They don’t get the opportunity to go door-to-door very often during this season. (The majority of the neighbors in that area are more than walking distance apart.) Let them dress up! What are the ‘squelchers-of-fun’ afraid of? That some kid might wear a “blood and guts” costume? Or dress up as a creature of the night? Just because a kid is wearing a vampire costume does not mean he’s going to hijack mom’s minivan and go on a biting rampage after everyone else has gone to bed. I mean, come on! Those kids aren’t interpreting the “Carnival” as a means to let their lunatic streak out of the bag. They see it as a chance to dress up, play with other kids, and get sweet treats.

Next thing you know, they’ll be eliminating the annual Easter egg hunt (the Easter Bunny is a thief who steals eggs from chickens), and Valentine’s (those angelic little cherubs have a mean streak, I tell you). Oh, and let’s not forget the turkey at Thanksgiving, or Santa Claus at Christmas. I could go on.

Let’s all live in a glass box, where we’re sheltered from any influential factors that might potentially cause us to have to make decisions for ourselves. Let’s make sure everything is politically correct so we don’t run the risk of damaging anyone’s psyche. Let’s never turn on the stove so we can find out the hard way that the surface might burn us on occasion. Let’s all tread carefully and tiptoe around each other so we can point fingers and be hypocrites when others trip and fall.

Now, I am in no way attacking the decisions of my church. But, I can darn sure express my disagreement with them! If the line is not drawn somewhere, then we will never have the opportunity to learn from life, or know when it’s appropriate to cross it or not. Knowing and doing are two very different things. We need the elements of distinction between them both, which enables us to grow from our experiences and apply that gained wisdom and knowledge to our lives.

Disguises or not, it’s what’s on the inside that counts.

And that, my friends, is my rant for today. Stepping down off the soapbox now.

Happy haunting! **echoing cackle**

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