As I type this, I am listening to Lullaby by One Republic. How fitting.
I wrote the following poem several years ago, and I came across it today as I was looking through some old files. Today, of all days, it means something so much more to me. Its relevance in my life at the moment is worth sharing. Reading it to myself, I'm amazed at how far I've come. And how far I've yet to go.
One step at a time, remembering my past...and focusing on the path ahead.
Life has a purpose that passes through us in seasons
Just as the tree blows a song through her branches
Whispering to us to trust in our own decisions
And allow faith to take charge of our chances
Every now and then, I reflect on the details of yesterday
When life was full of promises and children’s games
Some love and friendships weren’t built to withstand
And often time has chosen not to remember their names
The simplicity of life back then holds all my memories
But the years have made the child in me grow fast
The things I treasure most lie protected in my soul
Graced with the laugher and sunshine from my past
For those seasons change with the coming of age
We are but an infinite ocean, drifting in the ebb and flow
Struggling to make the most of our time in the world
Now is the time to move forward; I can let go
I vaguely remember writing it. Who would’ve thought years later, I would have a better understanding now of something I wrote in my youth of limited wisdom and naivety. It reminded me that things come and go in our lives for a reason. And just as the Bible says, for every thing there is a season. Why do some people have such a profound effect on our lives, and others are merely a whisper of a cloud that changes shape and drifts away?
It would be dishonest of me to say that I wish I didn’t have the answers to why things happen the way they do sometimes. I have high expectations of myself, and perhaps I build others up in my mind and expect the best out of them, too. If part of my purpose on earth is to be the best person I can be to help and support another, then I will humbly give of myself until there is nothing more to give. I only know one way to love and trust, and that is with my entire heart and soul. Often, that leaves me open to vulnerability, betrayal, and hurt. But it’s a hurt I would gladly bear. I’d much rather walk away from something knowing I struggled to overcome the odds, than live with the self-disappointment and doubt that I could’ve done something more.
I can’t question the means by which God puts certain people into our lives for longer than others. Everything and everyone has a plan, for we are all connected by fate, chance, coincidence, and most beautifully, the human spirit. I believe we all endure specific situations and tribulations to make us stronger. Some things teach us to laugh. To sacrifice. To trust. And some to fall. But, every single trial teaches us how to love better – especially ourselves. Perhaps I am placed into another’s life to teach them something about themselves. With the same reasoning, there are people in my life who have strengthened me in some way. Part of me will be incomplete if they are not a permanent place in my journey. Yet, I am comforted with the knowledge that God will fulfill that void with the next aspect of His plan. I only hope that I have returned the support and love as unconditionally as my family and friends have shown me.
We wake up each day, with the gift of breath in our lungs, food in our bellies, and bills to pay. The things we find ourselves fussing about are trivial, menial, when compared to the greater picture. Life is fleeting. How very precious it all is. And how very blessed are we to walk hand in hand, sharing the love, laughter and pain with others in our lives.
Now is the time to let go and allow my past to sleep. My eyes and heart are open as I move into the season of my future. I can’t wait to embrace the beautiful awakening that God has planned for me.