Monday, November 8, 2010

Dream Again

I remember reading somewhere that dreams are the subconscious wishes of our heart to achieve what our brain deems to be the impossible. On that same note, why do we feel our hearts break a little when our dreams don’t come true?

When we allow ourselves to feel things deeply, it transforms us. Changes us. Sure, we might look the same on the outside, but inside we are lifted to a level that is higher than what we though ourselves capable. We view the world, and the people in it, with new eyes. Eyes that refuse to see fault. Eyes that gaze upon the objects of our affection with a poetic sense of wonder and perfection – be it a person, a goal, an obstacle to overcome, or a dream we keep inside us. We are buzzing with the energy of inspiration, and that feeling of euphoria propels us further, frees our imaginations, and helps us to focus on what we thought to be unattainable.

If one dream fails, perhaps it means that it was never supposed to be ours to begin with. And still we find the renewed strength within us to reach above and beyond our own perceived limitations. The ache in our heart heals, making us stronger and more confident for the next bout of trials. We tell ourselves that if we survived a failure once, we will surely bear it again, and recognize the signs when we’re on the wrong path.

Giving of our whole heart leaves us vulnerable, open to deeper wounds. And deeper disappointment. Yet, we find our capacity to feel has broadened. With each hardship we gain new knowledge and wisdom. With each mistake we grow. We find courage in our struggles to overcome the odds against us, for the devil knows no greater joy than seeing us fall. And fall we refuse.

The heart retains so much of who we are. Our brains are analytical, black and white. It processes facts, information and intellect. It distributes the necessary impulses to make us function. But our hearts...our hearts are a deep abyss of pure emotion. Love, hate, longing, hope. Every sentiment we experience might begin in the brain, but it is felt in the heart. Residually, it breaks when we fail. When we lose a loved one. When we are betrayed. And it seems to swell to twice its size when we practice patience. Endure hope. Feel a sense of pride. Fall in love. Accomplish greatness.

Dare we dream big at the risk of coming up empty handed? Things worth having rarely come easily, and rarely come without risk. There is profound beauty in the moments we sacrifice everything and put our hearts on the line, because we stand to lose it all. Our ability to hurt is coupled with our ability to love. One cannot exist without the other. Dreams cannot exist without the heart.

We remain still unwilling to deny our hearts the opportunity to start over, to burn with the flames of a new wish. And so we wipe away our tears and begin again. Stronger this time.

Breaking a heart isn’t depriving it of love or hope, but rather, taking away its dream. When it is denied what it so achingly desires, it is left void. It beats no longer with the energy invested in longing for the one thing that makes it powerful with emotion. Its valiant rhythm is interrupted, broken.

Until another inspiration comes along and awakens it to dream again.

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